Dog Training Me

We hired Al Rossomando from Dogs101 here in Tucson to help us get Rocket, our Pit Bull-Boxer mix, under control.  Al’s been with us every Friday for six weeks and has made some good progress.  Of course, the biggest job is training us humans on how to behave and thereby control our dogs.  We’ve joked that Rocket is our “short bus” dog. Sometimes I think he could learn quickly if he WANTED too, but he just doesn’t want to.

While walking him near the Golf Course the other day, I had a flash of genius.  Service dogs can be trained to assist anyone.  I saw a paraplegic woman with a service dog that could pick up things she dropped , turn lights on and off, and even close the door behind them.  And we’re all familiar with “Seeing Eye” dogs.  So, there I was training my dog at the golf course and thought: “Hey! How about a golf-service dog!”  Yes.  I could train him to watch the ball and see where it landed.  He could run up and point to it with his nose.  And if I was really good at training, I could teach him even other useful assistance tricks:

“Sir we don’t allow dogs on the course.”
“But he’s a service dog.”
“Oh all right, I’m sorry,  I didn’t realize you were handicapped”
(-thinking-: I’ll say I’ve got a handicap!  Have you seen my swing?  36 handicap at least!)

My new dog would be trained to track the ball and run to it, and after having demonstrated to others that he merely points to it (say about the 3rd hole), and insuring that no one but me was looking, carefully pick up the ball in his teeth, carry it back to the fairway and drop it somewhere in the middle.  Of course, he’d know how to drop with his back turned toward the Tee box so no approaching golfers could see it fall from his mouth.  They will just think my little wonder dog had helped locate it.  Then, with even more training, he could work on my putting game, or better yet ball-placement.  Yeah, that’s it.  Just drop that ball about 10 inches from the cup before anyone in my foursome can even see the green.

 Yeah that would be a cool dog.  Of Course, I’d name him Mulligan.

Darrell Rodgers                                             
Singer, Songwriter, Performer, Humorist

About Darrell

Singer, Songwriter, Performer, Humorist
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4 Responses to Dog Training Me

  1. DogTraining says:

    Great idea. You better make sure it is a small breed though. The large breeds tend to drool so much that a ball covered in slime might be a tell-tale sign.

  2. Darrell says:

    Ha!! That’s right! But I will need one with legs long enough to handle some very bad rough.

    Thanks for the comment.


  3. Rents says:

    Man, I´m sure you are going to HELL for that 😀

    P.S. You should get mini-dachund or smth like that – it could get the ball from UNDERGROUND and push it with it´s nose, so no-one would notice anything 😉

  4. HA! You could be right about going to Hell, but after seeing my golf game, I’ll get likely credit for time served.

    Interesting comment about the subterranean pooch, but I don’t think that would work on the greens.


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